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As an early childhood nurse, I support parents in many ways with medical knowledge and skill. My highest priority is to empower parents and to make them feel good about the parenting choices they make as long as their baby is safe and as healthy as they can be.

There are many different views on whether “sleep training” for babies is safe or harmful but it is evident that many people have very strong views one way or another.

It saddens me that the information is presented in such a way that can cause parents to feel they may be harming their baby by changing sleep habits. My response to them is that while I don’t dispute the scientific data, I think the spin on the conclusions evoke more questions than answers and I try to give them the following reassurance:

Firstly, for a study to be evidence based it should have specific controls and variables which can be measured scientifically. I cannot imagine how such a study might be even remotely possible with babies given the individuality of any given baby and parent – such control groups would verge on impossible.

Secondly, language such as “thought to contribute to”, or “may be associated with” is not strong evidence.

Some studies mention stress levels in babies following “sleep training”. It is a scientific fact that sleep deprivation also raises these levels. It does not surprise me that there would be an elevated level continuing for a few days following some good sleep which would naturally decrease, but I don’t think any of the studies followed up any further than the first day.

My understanding of the studies that have been carried out is that the groups are small, making conclusions less reliable.

I believe (although this is also not scientific) that stress levels are high to begin with because of sleep deprivation and I often ask my parents, “Do you think it is more harmful to continue with the current levels of stress long term or do you think that the stress of changing a behaviour short term for long term benefit is a better, healthier option?”

In my experience (again, not scientific), the entire family benefit from better sleep and feel much more able to cope generally. I believe this would be similar for baby. In fact, many parents comment that there is a notable difference in their baby’s ability to cope in general when they are getting better sleep.

I sometimes direct them to this study just to give them a bit more reassurance. 
http://www.abc.net.au/…/controlled-crying-babies-no…/7443878

Furthermore, a recent study shows extremely detrimental results due to sleep deprivation. It is not only baby that needs consideration but the entire family. 
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2019/…/191121183923.htm

For studies to conclude that “sleep training” baby ”may be associated with” or “might contribute to” things that cause parents anxiety about their choices is unhelpful.

I will always support, encourage and empower parents to be the best parents they can be in their own way.

If you are happy with your settling techniques, whether that is holding your baby until they fall asleep, feeding to sleep or allowing to self-settle and feel you and your baby are getting adequate amounts of good quality sleep, then keep up the good work! If you feel that you and your baby could benefit from some professional advice about changing sleep behaviours, please contact me.

Kathy

If you have any questions or there are any topics you would like to see in future posts please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Many of my mums ask why they waited so long before getting help to sort out their sleep issues.

There are many reasons-they think they should be able to handle it alone, they feel like failure to ask for help, many strong opinions about sleep behaviours and how it should be handled are confusing and they don’t know where to start or how to keep going.

Sleep deprivation is not normal, can impact health in a negative way, impacts relationships and can affect coordination (even when driving). There is a reason it was used as a form of torture.

You can do something about it and it is never too late.

My favourite day is checking in with my families after 1 week to see how they are going. Not surprisingly, I hear of benefits such as improved mood, energy and general well being not to mention much better and less interrupted sleep.

Of course, it is a matter of listening to what my mums and family want and need, then finding a way to bring about change. There is a period of learning and relearning for mums and babies that takes a bit of time and practice.

There is certainly some work and effort involved but that is my job…showing parents how to progress, and support them in the process of change, giving them confidence to continue and reach for what initially seems like a goal too far.

There are a variety of choices my families make about how they proceed and not everyone will use the same methods but the principles I teach them are the same.

If you are struggling, it is OK to get some help. Don’t suffer unnecessarily.

Kathy

If you have any questions or there are any topics you would like to see in future posts please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Transitioning from a cot to bed can happen anytime after the age of 2 and usually sometime before the age of 4. 
There are many reasons that influence the need for change including; a new baby on the way, climbing out of the cot, the ability to be able to get to the toilet at night and of course, the age of the toddler.

Maintaining safety in the bedroom is most important-your toddler can now get out of bed independently, and they probably will, so check the room for choking and suffocation risks. Tie up curtain cords ( newer curtains and blinds have safer adjustment cords), consider what is tempting for them to climb on and how sturdy it is (and what they may be able to reach), consider a safety door for a short time to prevent night time wandering to other areas of danger and temptation. Look at what may be shiny and tempting for your toddler and assess it’s safety-especially things that can be pulled over or swallowed. You might like to think about safety rails or starting off with the mattress on the floor.

Make starting off in a big bed something your toddler can be involved in and talk about the change before hand. If your toddler can be involved in helping choose the bed, setting up and seeing the new bed take shape, it can help them be more interested. Remember toddlers are developing emotionally and are trying to gain some independence. Be careful though that you don’t over excite your toddler about the new bed-you do want them to go to sleep, not think it’s a party bed.

If you are moving to the bed because there is another baby on the way, make sure the transition happens some time before the new baby. Your toddler will have adjustments to make with the new baby, so you don’t want it to appear the baby has stolen the cot.

If you haven’t already, now is a great time for bedtime routine & quiet time before bed. It might also be helpful to keep a blanket from the old cot and transfer it to the new bed. Praise your toddler and be proud of the transition, encourage your toddler to climb into bed on their own and let them know you will be there in the morning.

If you have any great ideas that have helped your child change from the cot to the bed, please share them and let our families know.

Kathy

If you have any questions or there are any topics you would like to see in future posts please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

What is normal crying for my baby?
Well, there are so many answers here and so many more questions. There is usually some reason your baby is crying and it is the principle means of communication ear

There are about 1-2 hours of unexplained crying in a 24 hour period and mostly, babies are comforted by cuddles, feeding changing or repositioning. It is generally quite easy to settle and comfort most babies but there are some that just don’t seem to have an off switch for their cry button.

Firstly, if this sounds like your baby, then a trip to a Paediatrician is advised to rule out any minor, or major illness or condition that may be treatable.

If you have a diagnosis, then you can work on strategies to help your baby and enable you to understand where they are coming from. Sometimes this gives great relief, even if it doesn’t solve the crying.

Sometimes, regardless of a healthy baby, parents are faced with a baby who cries seemingly non stop and this can be devastating to say the least. There is nothing that is able to pacify baby despite every effort.

Here are some things that may be helpful: Diet-limit caffeine. I had a mum who had the most glorious baby until she started taking some supplements and on investigation, found them to contain caffeine. Sometimes eliminating dairy or some other foods can help but if you consider this, ensure you are still getting adequate nutrition.

Try a relaxation bath-for the baby (but hey, you might need one too). Fill the bath so that your baby is almost floating supported with just the head out of the water. gently move baby in the water. Most babies love this but there is the unavoidable getting the baby in and out of the bath which sometimes puts you back to square one.

Try a bit of baby massage: https://www.johnsonsbaby.com.au/skin-care/baby-massage…

Sometimes, it is about managing the situation if you are unable to find a cause and have exhausted endless possibilities.

Get help: There are friends who ask “can I do anything?”
Your resounding answer should be YES. Have them sub in even for a short half hour to give you a break. Allow them to hang some washing for you, get some essential food from the shops, just come and keep you company.

Look after your relationship: It is such a stress to have a baby that seemingly doesn’t respond to all of your care and cuddles and that can impact not only you but those around you. Remember, you are on the same team, even though the team doesn’t seem to be winning. One of my mums had 15 mins in the evening when she and her partner would sit down together and have their evening meal. They would put the baby in the walk-in wardrobe-don’t judge. The baby was safe and warm, the space was big and this was their only break.

The great news is that they all survived and that child is robust, healthy and beautiful. The parents as loving and supportive as they were in the early days.

Speaking of safe, if you are alone and feeling stressed to the max, it is OK to place baby in the cot and walk away for a few minutes to regroup and re engage. If you feel out of control, put baby down and call someone to help.

Surviving a crying baby is tough but like many who have come before you, you will all, with time get improvement and your life back.

Kathy

If you have any questions or there are any topics you would like to see in future posts please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

There are several questions that I am asked regularly by parents and I will answer some of these in the next few posts.
When will my baby sleep through?

I have heard of babies sleeping through at a very young age but realistically, there is an enormous range of when baby will be able to sleep for long periods overnight.

Bear in mind, some parents define overnight as 6 p.m to 6 a.m and some will say 10 p.m. onwards.

Somewhere around 4 months is not uncommon after the last feed in the later evening for a good long overnight sleep. Certainly, by 6 months of age, it is widely agreed that most babies will get adequate nutrition throughout the day so they do not require feeding overnight.

Mostly, your baby will start to shorten a particular night feed-they might feed for a shorter time or seem a bit less awake or interested in that feed. You can be pretty confident that this feed will be the first one they drop.

If your baby is a bit older and you are trying to eliminate a night feed, there are a few things that will encourage them to drop the feed: give them a cuddle and get them back to sleep without feeding; gradually decrease the feeding time or amount you are offering at that particular feed; offer water instead of breast or bottle.

Of course, baby will sleep for longer if they are full before bed time but a word of caution, don’t over do it, especially with solids or you might contribute to an upset tummy.

If you have a tip that has worked for you, I would love you to share with our mums.

Thanks,
Kathy

If you have any questions or there are any topics you would like to see in future posts please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Earlier in the week, I had the opportunity to attend a seminar by Dr Kaylene Henderson on the topic of ‘Tackling Anxiety and Building Resilience in Children’.
Then session was an hour and a half well spent and I would highly recommend this talk to every parent. 
Dr Henderson gave a well presented talk, and covered building strong relationships with your children and strategies to help deal with anxiety and how to help at home.

Some of the key messages that I would like to share, which she gave greater detail and good examples of were:

• Watch over them as they learn, explore and take risks
• Delight in them
• Share enjoyment in activities with them
• Help them ‘just enough’
• Comfort them when they’re distressed
• Be a good role model. Sometimes we have to be as brave as we’d like our children to be!
• Teach your children that anxiety isn’t harmful and that it also doesn’t last.
Allow children to experience both the ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ of life.

If you would like to find out where her next seminar is, I have a link to the website.

www.drkaylenehenderson.com
www.adoseofawesomeness.com

Kathy

If you have any questions or there are any topics you would like to see in future posts please don’t hesitate to get in touch.